I had intended to rent my vinyl beach cabin till the end of March but I called the owner on Sunday to let her know I would be vacating at the end of this month. It’s been three winters now that I rented away from home, away from my husband. When I go home on the weekends it just doesn’t feel long enough. It doesn’t help matters that when my husband works he is away for weeks at a time too. I feel out of touch with my home, with my neighborhood. Like a visitor.
At the moment my siblings and I are beginning again to make arrangements to move our mother down to where we all live, something I was trying to make happen last year because I said to myself, husband and siblings that I can’t keep living away form home like this. But I can’t stand the thought of my mom up here by herself everyday until a weekend when one of us can come and take her out. She’s unable to drive so she can’t just up and decide to head out on her own. She’s a shut in. It was my solution to rent near her although extreme maybe, and because I was the more flexible of us, the more independent of us, I don’t know, I just did what I knew I could do, wanted to do without question.
But I most certainly can’t anymore. I’m feeling stress now. Of course where my home is has a lot to do with my decision to rent up here, If my husband and I lived in town it would be much less stressful. A move for my mom must happen this summer, so by the winter she’s settled. I want her to be part of our loop by living in our small city. So my siblings, her grandchildren and great grandchildren and I can without much arranging swing by during our day or evening and spend time with her. One brother struggles with even affording the gas it takes to drive up here to see her in her current home, my sister works all week 9-5, my other brother is nearly non existent other than the obligatory visits, but usually it’s just a phone call, on birthdays and christmas.
Gestures of moving her last summer was progressing, but then it all got bogged down with financial questions that she wouldn’t be able to afford to live in a private Independent Care accommodation. That maybe she could just increase her home nursing care instead and stay where she is. My mom is part of a Life Interest Estate from her second husband which involves its own set of logistics that had needed to be addressed early on in the process so we would know how to conduct the whole transaction of moving. So another winter came and here I am.
Now we know she can afford the move and my siblings are now fully engaged.
Just needing to breath all this out, thank you for listening.