Welcome Opal

Opal comes home, and the midwife Ariel coming by to check on things.

I want to quickly share the news that my daughter Zana just brought her new baby girl home yesterday! She and hubby Don already have 22 month old Saylor who has become a big sister overnight!  I intended on staying with them a short time at their home in Salmon Arm to help out  just until things got settled in, then head home, but Zana wound up needing a C-Section five hours into her heavy contractions! No one saw that one coming. All went well thankfully, but it was an excruciating labour for her.

She stayed only one night in hospital too because the bed was sooo uncomfortably hard and the room dreary (which it was). Now she’s faced with 6 weeks convalescence with absolutely no lifting, like 30lb toddlers!  And as we all know, toddlers are spastic balls of energy, and Saylor is no exception.

So, it looks like I may be staying on with them a little longer unless plans change, we’ll see. So far I’ve been taking care of the cooking (which I enjoy!) and keeping things tidy while helping out with Saylor during Zana’s final pregnancy stages, so i’ll just carry on. Typical Mother/Mother-in-law/ Grandmother protocol.

I’m happy to be in a position to help out. Fortunately I retired early so have no pressing time line I have to adhere to. There’s Bob of course, back on the island, but he understands fully. And he is only 5 hours away.

We’ll see how things pan out~

 

 

Becoming Grandparent

Seeing my daughter’s belly grow awakens memories of her and I when we were both young. When I was 22 and she was newborn, when we were beginning the early years of our development. New mother, new baby. Sharp learning curve. If only I knew then what I know now. Then, I didn’t fully grasp the trajectory of my role as mother, I only knew I was a young single woman with a child. We were a pair, her and I, with a close bond.

But I was ill prepared for what I was embarking on. I worked to keep us off welfare. And it’s true in hind site only do I recognize I struggled in keeping us housed, clothed and fed without really identifying with the fact I was struggling, because I suppose I was ignorant, which perhaps I misinterpreted as being happy. A false sense of bliss? No, I believe I was happy. And things seemed to work out in a slip shod way. God looks after children and fools.

It was a bumpy ride. No doubt about that.

I do wish I had slowed down and savored that era a bit more deeply.  A regret that chafes. To have fully understood and embraced my role as mother. I do wish I had had the steely determination to have focused on a career too. To be fair I did attempt, but was met with financial limitations. I just wish I had been a stronger woman, stronger mother.

But that was then and we survived. More than survived, we have thrived.

This is now. I’m going to be a grandmother in a couple of months. I’m getting used to those words, those good words, although I still feel like a twenty-something in my head. I am taking what I didn’t know then but knowing full well now to appreciate what the significance this new role, this new era of my life, will hold. I see my daughter in a different place than where I was at 22.

Maybe because she’s 36. She has a mid-wife, and a Doula, a home with a partner. More prepared than I ever was. Like a grown up. She’s a strong woman, she’ll be an excellent mother.

And I wonder is this what becoming a grandparent gifts us with? I have to say it’s not without some bittersweetness. What I would give to do over again. These saturated feelings of anticipation, excitement, joy, awareness, of bringing a human into the world. But now it’s her turn, my daughter. And I vicariously get that second chance.

I think this is what becoming a grandparent gifts us with.