In a couple of days I’ll be vacating my vinyl cabin on the beach, and I’m kind of happy about it- well of course, I’ll be moving back to my own home after 3 months, and who does not want to be in their own home? It’s true I made the best of it, enjoying the simple solitude of my evenings here. No TV, no housework to speak of, nothing that ‘needs’ doing. Just me and my me-ness. This cabin served it’s winter purpose for me, allowing me close proximity to my mom during the shortest days of the year.
But lately I have been dealing with an agitated unsettledness and some emotional episodes of feeling pulled in too many directions; not cracking, but it felt close, which was a signal that I was reaching a saturation point of living in two places each winter over the last three years away from my husband, (but for the weekends) and of the continuous circle run between my mom, work and home. Not much down time.
But I’m now un-agitated and so far un-cracked, so that’s good.
Once back home I will still do the drive up to my mom’s after work to check in with her for a few hours, so I’ll still be Here and There, but the days are getting longer and won’t have to deal with dark boat rides home, and my summer lay off is in a couple of months.
You know it’s funny how in our 30’s and 40’s we never give our parents’ future a second thought. Thinking they’ll always be there, they’ll always have each others company and look after each other, and they’ll always be independent and strong.
We raise our children then turn to care for our parents. Natural order of things is all.