How is it the older I get the less time I seem to have to immerse myself in my interests? I used to listen to music endlessly, would know countless songs. I would practice playing my guitar and sing. I sang all the time. I would draw for hours, I would write in journals, I read more books. I took long languorous walks.
I visited friends, I had them over for dinners often. I grew a vegetable garden.
It’s really pressing on me these days. I feel nearly desperate for it, those times. I feel cloaked and laden and mechanical.